(no subject)

[lady_organa]

One of the things I fear in having a daughter is that our relationship will end up like my grandmother and my mother, my grandmother and her mother. I'm seeing a pattern in these relationships. It wasn't until recently that I heard my grandmother talk bad about her mother. While I was growing up she always talked fondly of her, but recently she's expressed negative things about her similar to the way my mom expresses things about my grandmother.

My mom and I don't have the greatest relationship ever. She's prone to criticizing me about my body and what not. I've been trying to talk to her about this but she always hides behind the guise of health concerns. She might be concerned about that, but really it's a vanity thing. That's why I got so angry at her back in June with the whole hysterectomy issue. She was making it completely about my weight. It couldn't because because there was something wrong internally, no it had to be my weight. She'll say stuff like "You'd be even prettier if you lost some weight." Which ticks me the fuck off. I'm already pretty. I am a fucking boss at any weight.

We are working things though. Last night I talked to her about how my grandmother and my uncle slut shame her for having a lot of boyfriends but he has/had just as many, but no one says shit and I saw a strain of recognition in her eyes. I told her that's how I feel when she always pressure me to be more ladylike but never says anything about my brother doing the same shit. Example both of us are messy but I'm expected to clean up but she never admonishes him for his messiness. I hope she can start to understand better.

Anyway I was just thinking about that last night. I want to have a better relationship with my future daughter(s) if I have one.

This entry can also be found on DW at: http://leia-solo.dreamwidth.org/324657.html

Comments

[asilversheep.livejournal.com]

I think that's a good goal. I mean you know what you don't want, and you'll just have to strive to make it so.

[lady-leia-solo.livejournal.com]

Yeah I want to stop this shit dead in it's tracks.

[lusimeles.livejournal.com]

i used to have a total no-kids-ever policy that was due in large part to the fact that my mother and i do not get along either. but we've improved over the past few years, mostly due to me realizing i can only expect so much of her as a daughter, and i vow not to repeat the mistakes she made while raising my own child. it's just, you have to look at it as, here is a list of things i know NOT to fuck up.

[lady-leia-solo.livejournal.com]

Exactly how I feel about it.

[amelia-seyroon.livejournal.com]

/HUGS